Ok, first blog wasn't good because i was tired so I'll give a whole recap on everything that's been going on in the past month. I've been dating this guy Derek for almost a year now. :D we've been dating on and off since my freshman year of high school. That's like 5 years now! Lately, I've been weird around him. I barely ate when we hung out, but now he's noticing it more, so I sent him "Ana's Letter".... I was so nervous and scared about his reaction. When he replied, he said he was breaking up with me, but I didn't care. I had Ana. He told me to get help or he wouldn't be with me. "No!" I screamed. Back and forth yelling at each other about what I was doing. He said he wanted to know more, so i sent him some signs and symptoms that i saved on my blackberry. "You're showing every one of these signs! You need help." " I don't want help until I decide that I need it."
That was a few weeks ago. I was with him last week and he tried to talk me into eating something small for breakfast. I said I would eat a banana. "eat more than a banana, I'll cut it up and make a "cereal" with some milk and some light sugar." "........Fine....but that's all I'm eating!" "yea, we'll see...."
We've talked about how much i want to lose.
"I want to be 99 lbs."
"No way! That's too thin!"
"IT'S MY FUCKING BODY!"
"Fine. At least try for 100..."
"For now...."
So that's what's been going on with Ana. As of this morning, I weigh 128. Fucking fat ass!!!!!!
I'll probably be on later.
Stay strong, starve on. <3
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